so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
