We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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