I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
