If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
