office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
this hospital has no fireball
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
