My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
