Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Alive.
So much puke
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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