what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
