ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I love you. Go after that dick
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There are leaves in my underwear?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
