I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
