Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize