all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
