should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
