absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
