During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
