naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
