I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
