Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
