when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
