then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
