It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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