got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
