its not stalking. its research.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
