you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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