ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
