it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Still dying that you shit outside
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
