fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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