Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
