is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she looked like the before picture.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
