If that was your dad, he is hot
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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