There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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