Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
