If that was your dad, he is hot
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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