I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
