We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
