why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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