woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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