Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
