i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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