Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize