I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
