You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He better not be in your backpack
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
