ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Alive.
So much puke
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
