I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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