It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
