you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The power of my boobs compel you
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
