Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
