is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you had me at cake vodka
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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