I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
