is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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