That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
