Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
