I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
