i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
