If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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