He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
