Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
