So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
