the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
