Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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