i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
