Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
