Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
No subtext here. People are naked.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Randomize
