Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
