I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
