Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He kissed a someone with a penis
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
