Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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