it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
