I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
