Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
